Sex Education

“What is a clitoris?” The teacher asked the class. She was answered with silence.
The teacher broke the silence, “Come up here,” she commanded a student, giving her a vagina model to hold so she could demonstrate. The student stood blushing, holding the vagina model upside down. “Where is the clitoris?” She asked the class. A girl raised her hand and when called upon, she stood and replied, “It is above the vagina.” The teacher looked at the upside down model, and then pointed above the vagina, “Here?” she asked. “Yes.” The girl replied, then embarrassed she covered her face with her hands and sat down. “Do any of you know where your own clitoris is?” Again, silence. Either the girls were too shy to answer, or they actually did not know. After all, there are not many full-body mirrors in people's homes, and not much privacy to allow someone to stand naked in front of one. The teacher then said, “This is your homework, to take a mirror and look at your vagina.” The entire class giggled awkwardly. “This is important!” The teacher added.

We were at camp GLOW, an empowerment camp for adolescent girls. This camp covered issues like girl's health, leadership, HIV, business, and other important topics that may not get covered in the general school curriculum. During this particular lecture, we were discussing anatomy and sexuality. Sex talk is taboo in general, especially in Kenya. But the purpose of camp GLOW was to bring those conversations into the open, where myths can be dispelled and the girls can establish some level of comfort and confidence on these issues. As a result, many many questions arise during those sex-education classes that are quite endearing.

Next, we discussed the different types of condoms. Male, female, extra-thin, bumpy, and we had examples for the girls to see and pass around. During the lesson, the teacher said, “There are even more types than we have here, they even have flavored condoms.” At this comment, one mature girl in the front raised her hand and asked, “Flavored condoms?! But the vagina does not have taste receptors, or does it?”
After twenty years, she still had not been exposed to the idea of oral sex. She laughed at herself as the teacher explained what flavored condoms were used for.

Next, we had the “Question Box” session. It was a chance for girls to write anonymous questions and have them answered so that there was no social pressure or judgment. The teacher pulled out the first card and read:

“Boys tell us that having sex makes our hips wider. Is that true?”

“No, this is not true,” we said to the class. We knew the girls desired fuller, childbearing hips, but this was just an underhanded means for boys to get sex. One of the facilitators chimed in,“Just look at prostitutes as an example, who have sex multiple times per night. Their hips were not any wider.” It was a good point, and the girls seemed to agree. Then we drew the next question:

“Can we lose our virginity by riding a bicycle?” (Virginity meaning the hymen).

“No,” was the response, followed by a discussion about the meaning of “virginity.” Though we did warn the girls that heavy physical exercise may break the hymen. We drew the next question:

“Boys tell us that when they get an erection, they are in a tremendous amount of pain and the only solution is for them to have sex. What do we do?”

This time I stood up and said, “This is not true. I have had an erection before, and it does not hurt.” The class giggled helplessly at my statement.
Through these camps for girls, there is quite a bit of insight one gains into the life and mind of a teenager in Kenya. I have found that the curiosity and mystery surrounding sex and sexuality are the same as in America. The only difference is that American teenagers have access to a very anonymous way of finding the answers to their sexual queries – the internet. It is not something that many have access to or knowledge about here in the rural parts of Kenya.

But we were not just restricted to girls camps. Many of the same mysteries surrounding sex and sexuality for girls swirled and stung in the minds of boys as well. During a boy's camp, we had similar sessions, with sex education and question boxes. Here's how some of them went:


The boy leaned over and almost whispered the question to me, as if embarrassed for others to hear, “So, when having sex do you put everything in? (referring to both the penis and testicles)”


We the teachers posed the question, “Where do the sperms go when a man ejaculates inside?”
One boy raised his hand, stood up and proudly answered, “Sperms go in to the woman and then dissolve into her body, giving her strength.”
Some of the male facilitators we had at the camp nodded in agreement. Yikes! Perhaps that was the justification for boys to sleep around - to give the girls strength.


During class, our male facilitator mentioned the fact that the human penis's maximum length is 6 inches long, and the penis cannot exceed that. Upon being corrected that 6 inches was the “average” size, he turned and whispered, “If it is any longer, how will the vagina be able to accommodate it?”


As we were sitting in the room, one of the boys asked, “Why do you see many skinny men with fat women?” Everyone else chuckled at the truth of his question.
Our female facilitator replied, “You would be surprised, fat women have very small vaginas, smaller than normal. As a woman gets fatter, the vagina does not grow with it, in fact the surrounding fat pushes on the vagina and makes it smaller.” Then she added, “They say also that fat men have small penises.”
One of the heavier-looking male facilitators objected as if defending himself, “Wait, I think the reason is that everything just looks relatively smaller, not because it actually is. And to answer your question about fat women, some men like the cushioning that comes with the added weight. It is supposed to put everything in a better position.”
Satisfied with that question, we came to the next one, “Why is it bad to wear two condoms?”
We had been doing condom demonstrations, and many of the boys had the slick condom lubricant on their hands. To answer this question, one facilitator replied, “You see how the condom is very slippery? The second condom can slip off, and thus be lost inside the vagina.” My fellow Peace Corps Volunteer and I nearly slapped ourselves on the forehead at his answer, and then quickly remedied the situation by providing the right answer. It was now very clear to see how myths get spread.


Finally, one question was asked by a boy who was almost proud of his sexual relationships:
"So, I was with this girl and we were having sex, and then her parents began calling her. I was right about to ejaculate when I had to get out through the window and run. If I were ejaculating, is it possible to run, or is it physically impossible?"